For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11


Seventeen months ago, God placed this blog on my heart.  Although I am unsure of the purpose, I believe there is one.  My hope is not only to receive healing myself, but to help in someone else’s healing as well.

Life can be difficult. Sometimes, it is by our own doing, our own decisions, our own mistakes, but sometimes, things happen that are completely out of our control.  Sometimes the difficulty is someone or something that has come into your life that you can’t control.  That brings havoc and destruction in your life.  Sometimes something begins and you have no idea how to make it stop.  You just know it needs to.  You know it has to, because your life depends on it.

Addiction.  It is a disease that is running rampant in our society right now.  I realize there is much debate over whether addiction is a choice or a disease or maybe even a little of both.  For me, it is both.  As a nurse, I know that many addictions begin with the start of a prescription.  Maybe there was some type of injury or surgical procedure done.  It can all start out as something as innocent as a 30 day script for hydrocodone.  As a medical professional, I struggle with this, because pain medication does serve a purpose, but once the injury or surgery is healed, the purpose has ended, but the mind and body doesn’t always realize that.  The brain enjoyed those pain medications and it wants more. It craves more and this is where the addiction begins and this is where the beginning of the end begins for many people.

Why do we have this desire to escape?  Why do we need to “get away” from life?  What are the stressors that are so hard to handle that we have to look to outside sources to “just make it through”?  Why do we choose substances that hurt us, when all we are really looking for is a way to help ourselves deal with the stress, the pain, the anxiety, the depression.  Whatever it is that we try to numb ourselves from.

I realize i will never understand addiction, but I am on a journey to do so.  I am on a journey to try to understand, to accept and to heal from all the ways addiction has affected my life in a very negative way.  Maybe I’m not the only one.  Maybe there are others out there too, who need to go on this journey with me, because doing it alone is scary, because we have been alone for too long.  We have kept secrets.  We have tried to protect our loved ones.  We have tried to maintain some type of normalcy for way too long and we are tired.  We are tired of being tired, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and we need to get to the other side of this.  We need to know that we will be okay.  That addiction does not get the last word.  That after all of the pain, the fear, the heartache, there is Hope.

Who wants to come with me?

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